


The Unusual Suspect

by HuldraK



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Brothers, Drunken Shenanigans, Dumb Family, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Sharpie, Sparda Brain Cell, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuldraK/pseuds/HuldraK
Summary: Nero woke up the next day on the floor of Devil May Cry with a massive hangover, only to find that someone had left him a gift on his forehead.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	The Unusual Suspect

**Author's Note:**

> Idea by @whatsanapocalae that was just too good to pass!

Nero woke up with a banging headache, like his head was being squeezed by a wire, and mouth so dry it felt like a worn carpet in his mouth. _Fuck_ , he had not been this wasted since his friends dragged him out one night a few months ago. What the hell did Trish give them anyways? He swore he heard Vergil _laugh_ , but considering how absolutely pissed out of his head he was, it was probably in his head.

‘You alive, kid?’ Dante called out, as cheery as ever, and Nero felt like his head was hit by a sledgehammer.

‘For fuck’s sake, don’t be so loud,’ Nero croaked and shielded his face from the lights with his hand.

Dante grinned, ‘rise and shine, kid! Coffee’s in the kitchen. Help yourself!’

‘I fucking hate you.’

Dante’s grin widened, ‘suit yourself. You know where the bathroom is.’

The older devil hunter left his nephew to suffer and wandered back upstairs to his room to freshen up.

Coffee. Nero needed the coffee first and foremost. Maybe some water, but coffee first. He stepped over Nico, still dead and drooling on the floor, and tentatively headed towards the kitchen. The pot was still warm and Nero chugged it down for his dear life.

Everything was a blur and the more he tried to remember, the worse the pain became. Thankfully the bathroom was not far. The cool water felt refreshing, but did nothing for the headache, but he could at least brush his teeth and get the sour taste out of his mouth. It was a clumsy and slow affair, but he let himself relax for a moment, grinning all the while. Who would have thought after all these years, he would be partying with his friends… and _family_. No matter how dumb they were, they were _his_ family.

Ugh, fuck the headache, though. He was sure there were aspirins in the van, but god knows where they were.

The light was dim, but Nero noticed some squiggly trail of dirt on his forehead. He wiped at it, but it did not budge. Frowning, he wiped harder and still it did not budge.

_What the fuck?_

Nero moved closer to the mirror and squinted, forcing his eyes to focus on the trail, faded a little probably from the wash earlier.

 _What the actual fu_ -

It was not dirt. It was an elaborate albeit messy cursive drawn onto his forehead spelling out _Vergil_ , with a line emphasising it underneath.

The sound of Vergil laughing that he thought he heard intensified.

‘What the fuck!’ Nero stormed out of the bathroom, toothpaste still foaming in his mouth.

Dante was back on his chair, showered and refreshed, legs propped on the desk and reading another one of his magazines.

‘You alright?’ He asked, eyes still reading.

‘Where the fuck is Vergil!?’ Nero demanded as he wiped toothpaste and spit it onto the floor.

‘Hey, what the hell did you do that for? I get enough crap from your old man as is!’ Dante clicked his tongue, ‘I don’t know. He went home to change, I guess.’

‘What the fuck is this!? Did he do this!?’ Nero pointed at the crime scene on his face and he got was a snort of laughter from his dumb uncle.

‘It’s not that bad! It’ll wash off. Just go have a shower and change.’

‘Wash off, my ass. It’ll take forever to wash off!’ If the headache was not so fucking bad, he would have triggered and drag Vergil back here to answer for his crimes right fucking here and now.

‘Put a hat on or something,’ Dante waved his nephew off and continued his reading, failing to hide his amusement.

Why did he have to have a bunch of children for a family? _Why_!? A bunch of forty years old fucking children!

The aspirins helped, a little, just enough to help him fume in peace. After taking a shower and changing in the van, he stared at the shadow of what was left on his skin for a moment, trying to discern if it could be still be seen. The answer to that was yes. Stand close enough and it was not hard to tell what was written there before.

Would Vergil even remembered doing this?

Hell, the bastard had no excuse. Both him and Dante could never get drunk enough not to remember even with whatever nuclear moonshine Trish had served them.

Rubbing his forehead hard, he hoped to remove it by his sheer force of will, only to be disappointed. The fur abomination of an ushanka hat sat on the centre console, mocking him. Nico managed to crawl back to the van to continue her slumber on the sofa, this time accompanied by a snore fit for a sawmill.

Vergil was going to pay for every single second that he had to wear this stupid hat and anyone who dared to take a picture will go down with him.  
  



End file.
